~wHy i LuV mY MoM~

My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:"If you're going kill each other,please do it outside, I've just finished cleaning."

My mother taught me RELIGION:"You better pray that will come out of the carpet!"

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

My mother taught me LOGIC:''Because I said so, that's why.''

My mother taught me MORE LOGIC:''If you fall out of that tree and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me!''

My mother taught me FORESIGHT:''Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.''

My mother taught me IRONY:''Keep crying and Iíll give you something to cry about.''

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS:''Shut your mouth and eat your supper.''

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM:''Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck?''

My mother taught me about STAMINA:''You will sit there until all that spinach is gone!''

My mother taught me about WEATHER:''This room of yours looks like a tornado has gone through it.''

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:''If I've told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!''

My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE:''I brought you into this world and I can take you out!"

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION:''Stop acting like your father!''

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION:''Just wait until we get home!''

My mother taught me about ESP:''Put your sweater on, don't you think I know when you are feeling cold?''

My mother taught me about JUSTICE:''One day you íll have kids and I hope that they turn out just like you!''

My mother taught me about GENETICS:''You are just like your father!''